1. Straight A's Winter semester.
The last couple years, I always set a goal for a few a's, a few b's. But I think I need to set the bar higher for myself. I want to prove to myself and my parents that I am capable of straight A's.
2. Do everything possible to be financially stable for this summer.
this means NOT using my credit card, saving up so I can get Cazz home after the winter semester and pay for him during the summer that I'm not working.
3. Knee Replacement
Well, this is already set in stone to happen next April. (i'm still in complete shock that it's actually going to happen) I guess I just want to be as prepared, mentally, emotionally and physically as possible to take on this surgery. There is just a lot that goes into a procedure like this, and I want to be able to tackle it and overcome it in the best possible way. The biggest part of this for me is to maintain a positive attitude throughout the whole experience.
This is in two parts. one: I want to be a dedicated pen pal to my missionary. Two: And I want to take the time that I'm off my feet for most of next year to write something. Maybe a book or novel or my life story. I don't know. I just want to write.
5. Read the Book of Mormon
I was thinking about this the other day, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but I don't think I've ever read the entire Book of Mormon, cover to cover, in linear form. I know I've studied it, and I know that I've probably read the whole thing in chunks here and there throughout my life, but I want to read it, in it's entirety, from start to finish.
6. Pick Piano Back Up.
Pretty straightforward. I want to relearn how to play, and I want to be able to play well.
7. Be Better with my Time
I just don't want to waste away in front of the tv or the computer the coming year. I want to be better at budgeting my time and not procrastinating homework during the next semester. I realize that some of it will be needed while I'm in the recovery stage after surgery, but I want to be productive or accomplish something. I don't know what exactly that entails yet, but I'm thinking it will be something along the lines of working for/making things for my floor at children's. I have a huge desire to give back to the people who gave so much to me.
8. Take Better Care of My Body
this comes in a few different parts and is something I really want to master. I've grown really used to relying on someone else to look out for me, and I need to be able to do this for myself over the next couple years, for him and for myself:
1. Sleep more. (I need to kick the sickness I have right now completely in order to get my knee replacement)
2. Eat better.
4. Take care of my knee. Know when to say no. Know what the limits are and what adjustments need to be made. Make good choices about how far to push it.
9. Grow out my hair and stop dying the heck out of it!
I just want healthy, long hair again. And that means no drastic hair cuts and obsessive amounts of chemicals.
Start making plans, researching and maybe learning some Chinese so that I can be prepared to teach English in China in 2012.
11. Stay Secure
In myself, in my relationships, and in my testimony. I know that this next year will have it's trials and it's rough patches and that I'm going to have a hard time without some people not being by my side. I just need to trust myself and stay secure.
I think that is it. Pretty hefty list, if I do say so myself. But I'm excited to tackle it.
I'm anxious for this next year. There are a few big changes headed my way....starting in 27 days. Everything that I've come to know and rely on over the last eight months is going to change. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous about a lot of things. But I'm positive that everything that is going to change over the next four-five months is going to be beneficial in the end. As my mom always says: "Bigger picture, Belle. Think of the bigger picture." My best friend leaving me for the next two years isn't the happiest thought. My best friend going to serve a mission and having the opportunity to help out so many people in Mexico, and learning and growing and becoming a missionary; having the chance to serve and bring truth to those who are looking for it and being able to grow and learn things for himself...that is the bigger picture. Getting my leg hacked up again and having to go through a 5-8 month recovery process to be able to walk again and not being able to go to school next fall isn't the best thought. Regaining stability, endurance, and becoming pain free and having the opportunity to teach in China in a couple years...that is the bigger picture.
I'm scared and nervous and anxious and excited and thrilled all in once. But I'm just going to hold on to the hope and faith that there is a plan; and that everything will work out in the end. I'm going to trust in my faith; without a solid footing in what I believe in, none of the coming changes would be endurable.
I'm so grateful for this last year. I'm so grateful for the people it brought into my life; for the lessons I learned and for the person I became throughout the last twelve months. I seriously don't think I could have asked for a more beautiful year. And as I think about everything that happened and everything that it included (learning how to trust again, my best friend's wedding, spring semester, cancer free for four years, and falling in love) , I can't help but be so incredibly grateful for my life. and for the opportunity I have to live it and to experience every small wonder. Every once in a while, it hits me, out of the blue, that I'm not really supposed to be alive...that I got a second chance to live. Cancer was supposed to win the war, but I somehow came out on top. And I couldn't be more grateful for it.
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. I'm filled with hope.
this is my life. and no matter what happens, it is so. freaking. beautiful.
To all of my friends, readers, and strangers who stumble upon this:
Happy New Years! I hope 2011 will bring you beauty and hope and joy. I hope that whatever comes your way during the next year, that you will remember to breathe and think of the bigger picture. I hope you smile when it rains outside and that you will tell the ones you love, that you love them frequently because you never know when that opportunity might be gone. Don't live with regrets. Life is meant for making mistakes and learning from them. It's called living! Don't be afraid to get lost in the woods, or to get a little wet from the sprinklers! Don't be afraid to fall in love, it's one of the most amazing things you could ever let yourself experience. Don't be afraid to try new things, or to be happy on your own, either. Don't be afraid of yourself. Just go on adventures and appreciate the simplest things! Life is so beautiful! Don't let it pass you by, because you just never know when you might lose that chance to appreciate it.
you are alive.
all of my love,