getting my act together

Tomorrow is the start of making goals, organizing myself and owning this semester. I am pumped.
Things have been crazy for me. I've had an interesting and overall weird week; adjusting to being back, to not having Cazz, to not living with Misao or the Klenotiches, and to having a bunch of old faces back in the burg. And, I've been terribly homesick for New England, my family and Zion's Camp. It's amazing how hard it is to adjust to living a life of service for four months straight, and then having to go back to the real world. I bet it's just a tiny bit of what a full-time missionary feels like when they get back.
Admist all of the craziness, I have found so many blessings and tender mercies that have made my life so beautiful while going through this transition period.

1. My new roommates. I'm such huge fans of them! My room roommate, Sarah, is so great! We've only been together a week and I already feel like we've known each other for a long time. And I really love Whitney, who has a similar sense of humor as me. Kristen is so stylish and we like all of the same music and places, so we always have something to talk about. McKell is such a sweetheart and Summer has an awesome movie collection. I feel welcome here and like I belong to a little family.

2. My Alumni Office team. I love the girls I work with and I get along with all of them. It's so refreshing to go to work and not feel left out or like everyone is in a clique. We all went out to Craigo's this last week and we had SO MUCH FUN! We laughed a ton and Sam and I ate so much wing pizza, we were bursting at the seams. My boss is so kind and generous and I am so grateful to have a job on campus and to have friends in the office.

3. My Idaho family, especially Misao. Being reunited with Symone has been one of the best things to happen to me since I've been back. Seriously, that girl understands me better than I understand myself. A typical conversation goes like this:

Me: "Well, I was thinking that we could do the...you know...place that i like...food?"
Misao: "Sure, we can go after class. But I have to get one of those pshh...pshh...things."
Me: "Right, we can pick one up at Walmart."

We don't have to speak in complete sentences or even in real words to know exactly what the other one is saying. It's so great. And I'm so grateful that she takes care of me and gives me a reality check and my twin.

4. The Patriots won today. and Mom watched the game on NESN with me on the phone and she gave me a play by play account during the fourth quarter.

5. Only the best letter I've ever received in the last five months from my best friend, who I am so proud of.

6. Being able to walk to campus without having any pain or limping. I've never felt better.

7. Long conversations with Julianna and plans to go to Boise to see Jillise

I'm very blessed and I'm very happy to be here. I'm still adjusting to a lot, but it'll smooth out soon.
Happy Sunday!

thai food tuesdays

Well, things are finally starting to settle after the most insane weekend of my life. Having two roommates get into a serious car accident is just not the way to start off a brand new semester. It's scary and stressful and downright sad. Luckily, things are starting to look up for them and are starting to improve.

I realized, as we drove down to the hospital Saturday night, that there is a reason why I needed to be back here, and why I needed to be in this apartment with these two girls, along with my roommates Sarah and Whitney. As we drove down to IF, I knew that the first thing we needed to do was pray. And the second thing was to call our bishop and put the situation in the hands of a priesthood holder. I think that my time in the hospital over the last five years of my life has taught me how to calmly approach these kinds of situations-even if I am freaking out internally. That skill really helped us on Saturday and Sunday. I was needed here. There are no coincidences. I have learned that a lot this summer and continue to learn it while I'm back here. There are absolutely no coincidences. I am always where I need to be and I am always surrounded by the people who I need to be by. And missionaries are always sent to where they are needed most.

I love my new apartment. It is so nice. I will give you all a tour in the coming days, but I love the change of scenery. I love where I am located according to campus. And I love that I am so close to so many friends. I love my roommates Sarah and Whitney-Saturday night really brought us together. I love being back at work. I love spending time with the girls I work with and becoming friends with them and not just co-workers. Sunday night, I had a girls night with Sam and Rachel and we watched a movie and ate "glazed cake" (a complete and total delicious accident on Sam's half). We laughed a lot. It was a much needed pick me up.

I am in love with the two literary classes I am taking on campus and I already adore my professors. They are both so funny and will keep me on my toes and challenge the way I view things.

I love that I will be getting mail soon from someone who I love to pieces.

And I love Thai food Tuesdays with Paige and talking about China and making plans to make it happen.

Back to School

I was thinking about writing this morning-catching everyone up about how incredible it's been to be back in Idaho and to be reunited with my Idaho Family. I have been on. the. go. ever since my feet touched the ground in Salt Lake. I've been reunited with Symone and Trish and Russel and the Klenotiches. I've been reunited with Brian, Mike, Benjamin, Mark, Jaron and Jared-all friends from my first semester who are back from their missions. I went back to work. I've made new friends. And I've become huge fans of my roommates already.

I was going to write about how happy I am and how everything looked so promising this semester.

And then tonight, I came home to my brand new apartment and to my brand new roommates. And we found out that two of them (who I already have become such big fans of) were in a terrible car accident, leaving one of them in the ICU and both of them probably out of school for the rest of the semester. We spent the evening running around, making phone calls, talking to our managers and sitting in the hospital until two in the morning. And all of a sudden; everything has lost it's sheen. Everything that was all bright and shinny...it's all dull and shades of grey now.

And I keep thinking: "How do i go to school on monday, when everything all of a sudden has been turned upside down?"

The Freedom Trail

For all of the times that I needed reassurance that he is where he is needed and that every hard moment this summer has given me because of my circumstances was worth it-I received it times ten today. 

I believe in answered prayers, in detailed and intricate plans and in blue bows. 

In one week, I will be reunited with my roommate, my friends and my Idaho family.

In a little over a week, the last missing piece of the puzzle will finally fall into it's place again.

And everything will be okay for a little while.

<3

it is official

well, i first need to call the office tomorrow and make sure I still have a job, but other then that...
I'm going back to Idaho in September.

I can't even describe how hard of a choice this was for me. I have loved every single second of being home this summer-my family is amazing and through the opportunity to serve at camp, I have grown close to some very extraordinary people who I will have a hard time leaving. I don't have a lot of worries here, and every day, I fall more and more in love with New England. I was looking forward to spending my first autumn here in over three years and having Thanksgiving with my family. I would be close to Boston, in case something went wrong with my knee. So much of me wants to stay home.

But after crunching the numbers, it looks like it will be smarter to go back to school, where I have a solid job, loan money and the opportunity to adequately prepare and save for China. By going back to school, I would be saving 150 dollars a month by not paying for Cazz (he'll stay home) and that will go to the China fund. I'll also be able to see a ton of faces that I haven't seen in AGES, hopefully live with Misao again, be around for the birth of Trish and Russell's first child, be able to hang out with my new friends Elysha, Tara and Paige, I'll be able to write to my best friend again and not stress out about running into him at every possible stake activity and I'll stay busy with work and school.

There were so many pro's and con's to each choice. For the past week and a half, I've woken up with my mind made up and then through out the day, changing it. The reality of the situation is that once school starts back up, being home will not be as fun because I won't have anyone to play with. My friends are all across the country. And today I found out that the one job that would have kept me home was no longer available and that was it. Choice made. And everything seems easier now.

I've gotta grow up and be someone. I can't stay at home forever. I can't be afraid of being far away from Boston. The whole point of this new knee was to give me more freedom and my life back. I can't be afraid to live it! I found a path, I'm taking a breath, and I'm gonna run!

See you in a few months, Idaho.

hi Idaho

today was the longest day of traveling ever.

but tonight was the happiest night of reuniting with so many people.
all of my roommates are together and our apartment is full of laughter and happiness.
Shanel fits right in with everyone and Trish and Russell are at our place more then theirs.
I'm a sass monster again and I'm enjoying every second of it. And even better, i get to be around one of my favorite people who makes me laugh and feel comfortable in my skin.
I don't think i could ever make a sound as high pitched as i did again in my life when I saw Vicki tonight. It was so good to see her and Whitney and Chloe and to meet the infamous DJ. I've missed them all terribly.

i have so much to do tomorrow and i am running on pretty much no sleep and passing out as i type.
i just had to write down that i'm happy. i'm content.
i'm where i belong.

A Million Hooks and Jamba Juice

On a whim, I asked my dad to pick some of these hooks up for me the other day, thinking I might be in need of some extra hanging apparatus. 

these hooks are so strong and sticky and  I seriously could buy a million more to hang up everything. I want to hang everything up on them.

Funny how little sticky hooks can make one so happy.

I guess I should mention I am back in Idaho. Finally.

I love my new apartment, I love being back with my roommates and I love the West. 

I start classes tomorrow. Let the crack down begin. 

Books were 370 dollars this semester. Plus I had to buy another I-clicker. so. 400 dollars.

I also love discount cards that give out 20% off Jamba Juice for the next year. My life is complete.

Tired of the sunset

Everyone makes such a big deal about sunsets. 

Well, I can see why. Sunsets are beautiful. The sun is slowly sinking towards the horizon and the sky is painted with the most vibrant colors; always changing, shifting, melting and melding into one another until they eventually fade away into darkness. Sunsets represent the end of the day and the promise of rest from worries and stress. I have seen some of the most spectacular sunsets while living in Idaho:

They are beautiful. There is no doubt about that.

But the truth is: I am an East Coast girl. And sometimes I get tired of those sunsets.

Sunrises.

The beginning of a new day, the vision of potential, dreams, achievement, hope and future. In order to have a sunset, the sun must rise first. As in life, in order to rest, we first must be awake. 

Watching the sun rise over the atlantic ocean is probably one of the most breath taking things I have ever seen. The horizon glowing with a soft pink, growing and expanding until the first glimmer of ray peaks over, reflecting on the ocean, rising and extending, chasing away the darkness and bringing warmth, light and a new day. The sight of awaiting opportunity, chances and most importantly: life. 

Every day the sun rises is another opportunity to learn and grow. For me, it is gift; my second chance at life. I do not want to waste any time. I have so much I want to do and learn and achieve and I am not sure how much time I have. No one is sure of how many days they have left to live. But I don't believe in regrets and I live my life so that when that sun sets after a day, I know that I have lived to my fullest potential. And when the sun rises again, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for God's beauty, and the gift of life; my life.

Sunsets are great and all. But they are overrated.

Give me a sunrise.

Give me hope and opportunity and light.

Give me life.

Last week of July. Enter.

I just made a Hamilton Therapy Mix cd that finalized the very late birthday package to be sent to California as soon as my paycheck comes in this coming week. My credit card bill came in and it's not pretty. I paid a large chunk of it right away, and hopefully can save the rest of my monies for the rest of the summer and not have to worry about the next bill until I get a job at school.

I need to stop buying music off of itunes. It's killing me. READERS: Send me mix cds of new music so I stop spending money! AHHH!

Two weeks of work left.

This coming week has four days of field trips, and everyone in my family will be gone at camps. Juli is coming to stay with me so I am not by myself. 

Next week is the last week of work. 

The week after that, Hamilton goes into the shop to get the brakes done and a new power steering pump.

Then comes family campout and beach week right in a row!

Then one week of packing, cleaning, trying to make some extra money, and then BAM! In the car on the way out to school.

time has been going by pretty fast. I feel like I was just leaving Idaho. and now I only have a few weeks until I am packing to go back.

All Around April

The high forcasted for today in Nevada City, California is 76. 

yes.

My epic trip along the West coast has been the most fun and relaxing and enjoyable trip I have had in a very long time. I'm so glad that I made the choice to go through with this. I am proud for taking what-if and maybes into my hands and making them very very real and solid concrete plans. I've needed this trip. I've needed to be with friends and people who I love right now.

I've needed to be in Oregon with Vicki and explore the ocean with Trish and Chloe and Casey.

I've needed to be in California, to fly out early and surprise Brian on his birthday, to spend time with him and Zandra and MK. I've needed their love and support and caring for a while and I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to be here and be with them.

On  a wonderful sidenote...I am off of academic probation. I did it. I did it, I did it, I did it. I have a 2.7 GPA for the semester. Not my best, but definitely acceptable for the time being. This GPA will also allow me to work at the housing office next semester, if they can take me back. I am so relieved, so proud of myself, and so happy that I pulled through.

I have another nine days left in California. I am sure they will go by way too fast. I am sure that I will be saying my goodbyes before I know it. But until it is that time, I fully intend to enjoy every minute I have out here with my friends. I am happy. I am content. I know that everything will work out. I know that there is a plan. 

Zandra and I are going to play hair dye now. Happy Chelsie=Attempt at a happy hair color. trying to go back to brown. yes.

Will.......

A. It looks like I will have a 91 in Book of Mormon. Yes.

2. I got an A on my Humanities Final

C. I think my Middle East class is going to be okay.

4. I am all packed. Almost everything is at Jordan's, ready to be put in storage

E. I am trying real hard for a low B in history, but it might be a high C

6. Science...should be fine? I haven't really thought about this. I should study for that tomorrow.

G. Basically....it looks like I will have a 2.7 GPA this semester. Definitely not the best, but all's I am concerned about is getting off of probation. I am almost ready to say i WILL be fine.

This is just a random update. can you tell all I have been thinking/living/breathing/worrying/stressing about have been my grades?

I am so tired. Bed time.

Will?

So:

A: I should pass Book of Mormon with flying Colors. I might even get an A! relief.

B: I should have a solid B in Humanities. I need to talk to my teacher tomorrow and make sure my absences are all excused from my fall.

C: I got a 92% on my last middle east test today! YES! this is going to help my grade greatly! I also am going to make up two quizes tomorrow! I should get a C in this class, maybe a B-? 

C2: (i forgot science). I think I did okay on my last science test, but I am not sure. I did well on the first half of the final today (it was just a survey) and I need to study for the second half on thursday. 

D: History...my last worry. I have a lot of work to do for it still. I hope that I can find the time. 

E: Packing...started last night. Need to get that done tomorrow so that Jord and I can make it to the storage unit. 

F: I got a summer job at the town rec program as a full time counselor. I am relieve that I will have some form of income this summer. I feel blessed.

G: Hamilton was fixed as of two days ago...and broke down again. Daddy says he is back in the garage and hopefully will be ready to go when I get home.

H: I am so ready to be in California with Brian and Zandra! and I am really excited to see oregon with Vicki and visit the coast!

In conclusion...I think it is almost safe to say i WILL be okay...but I still don't feel that great about it...so Im still sticking with the should.

The Lord is on thy Side.

This morning was not good. I woke up from a dream, and couldn't fall back asleep. My mind started running about all of the things that need to get done in the next four days and I just felt like the world was placed on my shoulder. 

I have worked really hard this semester to get my grades up. I've been a little stressed about getting off of academic probation, but have been pretty collected about having the situation under control. I got an e-mail from the registrar the other day, reminding me that if my grades are not good by the end of the semester, then I will be suspended from school. It was like turning my blood into pure stress. I can't get suspended from school. I love Idaho, I belong out here and I can not face my parents if I got suspended from school. I would feel like such a failure and disappointment. 

I've been on work overload this weekend. I've been pouring over my grades over and over again.

I have an 82 in Science. I am studying hard for my last unit exam and my final exam. I am not afraid of this grade going down. I am safe.

I have an 85 in Humanities. The exam is a take-home and open notes. I have to finish a few culture event sheets and make sure my module exam grade gets recorded. I am safe in this class.

I have a 72 in History, but I have two weeks of work I need to catch up with, which will put me into the 80's. Plus, I completed the extra credit, which will give me an extra 8% on my grade. I am safe in this class.

I do not have a very good grade in Middle East, which is ironically my favorite class this semester. I fell earlier this semester and missed a few classes. Even though I got them medically excused, my teacher would not let me make up a few quizzes, which really hurt me. I'm going to talk to my teacher tomorrow and hopefully get that squared away. 

Book of Mormon is up in the air right now, but it should be fine. I will feel better about that grade when I hand in my extra-credit and make-up work tomorrow.

But. I should be safe. I should be fine. My grades should be okay and I should get off of academic probation. Should. I hate that word.

General Conference today was amazingly moving and really helped my soul.

There was one speaker who spoke of changes in our lives and how we must embrace them because they are part of God's plan for us. If we have faith and have good attitudes, then we will be able to see ourselves through the changes that we face and know that everything will work out in the end. As I sit here, four days out from the end of the semester; facing some very hard goodbyes and some very welcoming hello's, I know that these coming changes will be hard. 

But I also know that these changes in my life are all part of the plan that God has for me. I know that going home this summer, that Brian leaving and going on his mission for two years, and that whatever my academic standing ends up being are all part of the eternal plan that God has for me. I take comfort in knowing that even though I am not aware of what may happen, that God does and that he will not forsake me or leave me comfortless. 

These are my thoughts of today. I must turn back to my academics. Hopefully by tomorrow night, the phrase my grades should be fine will turn into my grades will be fine.

California.

We finally went to California.

words kind of fail me, so here are some pictures.

Me and Misao landing in Reno! 

only a few minutes away from seeing our friends

FRIENDS! On our way to Nevada City, California

New Friends from Nevada City!

Best:

Classic:

Bye Bye Mike. We love you.

California Sunshine. 

Mountains and Trees.

 Old friends. 

New friends. 

Family.

Love. 

By the way. Look how far we've come:

There isn't much I can say except:

Thank you for everything.