History 300

"You have an incredible writing style," he says, as he hands back my paper. "You know, I often think that you just can't teach people everything there is to writing. Writing well; it's a hard thing to learn. But you have a natural ability. You write very well."

I smile to myself as I hunch over to keep the rain out of my eyes, avoiding the puddles that stand between me and the car. It's flattering, but also gratifying to receive a compliment like that from someone I respect. And it's comforting; to know that every time I have attempted to put feelings into words has built up to something. I may not be the best writer; but I do know that I am meant to write.


on waiting.

It's the only time I've felt like I was actually waiting.

The last two years have been filled with other things. Knee replacements. Serving at Zion's Camp. Preparing for China. Living in China. Road tripping. I've been busy doing stuff for me. Recovering, learning, growing. And though he has been by me every step of the way (through his constant letters and prayers) I have spent the last two years very much on my own, and holding the spot where he belongs, waiting for him to come fill it back up, but focusing on me. But now, there is nothing left to focus on, except him coming home. 

I have a few weeks left. That's it. Just a few weeks left, and he'll be back and that hole in my heart that he left will be filled with his laughter and his patience and the way he looks at me and just knows what I need to hear. 

I sometimes worry about our initial reunion. What will I say? What will he be like? Will we still fit just as well as we used to? What if I'm too different? What if he is? 

But then, I think about that blue bow and using it to push the hair out of my face while I wait for him to show up. I think about seeing him there, feeling him, realizing that he is real, and that hole in my heart almost feels complete just thinking about him being back. I think about telling him everything; about sliding back into our daily routine that is so familiar. I think about my future and how I just can't see it without him by my side. I think about that moment when the distance between closes and we become us again.

I'm not sure how it will happen; our reunion. I'm not sure how I'll get through those last few days. But I am sure of this: he's coming home and I love him more then I loved him when he left. So, I'm not worried, really. He's still him. and I am still me. And we are still very much us. 



the people who saw me at my worst and at my best and who love China and it's people as much as I do. So great to be reunited with these forever friends of mine



Thanksgiving 2008:

Thanksgiving 2009:

Thanksgiving 2010:

Thanksgiving 2011:

Thanksgiving 2012:


transfer, fast sunday, Christmas, full month, major holiday left until you are back here, with me.


In and Out

In: Holiday Oreos. New Dresses. Colored Tights. Boots. Yoga Pants. Victoria's Secret. Traveling. doTerra Shampoo and Conditioner. Lesson Plans. Nail Polish. Christmas Lights. Pine Scented Candles. Harry Potter on Tape. Letters. Hair Cutting. President Watson. Weekly Cards from my Mom. Mary Kay Lip Gloss. Heated Blankets. Costa Vida. Wreck-it Ralph.

Out: The Post Office. The Housing Manager. Oil Pumps. Class Registration. Laundry. Packing. Grocery Shopping. Milk. Socks. History 300. The Great Depression. The Aneid. World Civilization. Napping. Nightmares. Gas Prices. Wendy's. Wisdom Teeth. Countdowns.


Les Mis

To love another person is to see the face of God.


so soon.

In the evening, as I wind down, I can only see flashbacks and hear echoes of the days when we were scrunched down in blankets, keeping our toes warm and laughing at the funny things your roommate said. At night, I try to remember what it's like to have you next to me; try to find those memories and let them fill me up with your warmth. I can almost remember you; but it's not fully there anymore. And I miss you, I miss you. So I whisper to myself:

Soon. You'll be back soon.

And I wander through deep trenches of snow, towards the thrones on the Eastern Sea, entirely swallowed up by my dreams.



We're walking into the gym, laughing as we bounce off random things to each other. That's just how it is, the three of us. Random, funny things. I'm grateful I fit in with them; grateful for the friendships I have formed with them, grateful for the way they each care about me. Grateful for moments when she says, out of the blue:

"I farted a lot today."

and grateful for the gut-wrentching laughter that ensues.


Wellness Project

This semester has been insane and I'm exhausted every moment of every day. Sometimes, it's all I can do to not come home and slumber for a few hours...in fact, every day for the last two weeks, I have taken at least a two hour nap. I'm just so tired. And I realize that I'm not utilizing my time as well as I should be; being tired is only a product of me not living as healthy as I should be and my grades, while okay, are not as high as they should be. I am capable of better.

I know of several bloggers in my little community who have embarked on wellness projects; a break down of small, weekly goals to work on achieving in order to improve their overall wellness. And so I did some research of my own; figured out some areas that I want to improve on and I'm going to embark on my own weekly wellness project. I hope that I can develop some better habits; break some bad ones and just be happier! And I figured that if I blog about it, I'll hold myself accountable for it.

This is how I'm going to break it down. If anyone wants to join me; feel free! I would love to compare experiences!

Week One: Hydrate
Drink more water. Eliminate sugary drinks.

Week Two: Rest
Wind down early. Bed by ten thirty and awake at 6:30. 
Do not take naps over a half an hour!

Week Three: Eliminate Excess
Only eat home cooked meals, and include three veggies a day.
Do not go out to eat!

Week Four: Unplug
Take a facebook fast and leave the cell phone in the backpack/at home when not needed. 

Week Five: Move
Try a new form of exercise. Go to the gym three times this week! Stretch every night before bed.

Week Six: Love your Skin
Remove make up every night and treat face to a mask.

Week Seven: Revitalize
Find 20 Minutes every day for myself. Read a book in a bath or play guitar.

Week Eight: Create
Find a project to craft. Let your creative juices flow.

Week Nine: Spiritualize
Reconnect with God. Make time for him, his Prophets and his counsel. 

Week Ten: Order
Organize my space and my planner.

Week Eleven: Nourish
Find something else that fills me up other than food.

Week Twelve: Converse
Make an effort to have quality conversations with those I love.

gangnum style

My love for kpop and pay just increased tenfold when I googled the translation of his lyrics and read this:

"A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all
A sensable girl like that"

Modest is hottest. Even Psy says so.