Resolutions of 2012

Things have been crazy this week with getting paper work done for my Visa. But here they are, none the less. My goals/resolutions for this year!

1. Learn a language.

I know it takes a lot of work and time to become fluent, but I would like to learn a language enough to have a basic conversation in it. Right now, I'm leaning towards French, but my time in China might change it to Mandarin. We'll see.

2. Become proficient in shooting with film.

My "older brother I never had" is letting me borrow his beautiful Cannon film camera with two lovely lenses. I just finished my first roll of film that I shot in complete manuel settings and I have no idea how they are going to come out. But I hope that by the end of the year, I will have film down pat.

3. Expand DSLR kit. (new lenses, better tripod)

I am craving a telephoto lens in the worse way for my kit. Unfortunately they are so expensive! So, I hope to save up and expand my DSLR kit by the end of the year.

4. Create a budget and stick to it!

In order to purchase new camera gear, I need to continue to be financially stable. I've done well with that this last year, but I want to take it one step further by creating a budget and STICKING to it for longer than a month.

5. Be able to jog for ten minutes straight.

I ran the other day for the first time in over five years. It was incredible. But my muscles are so weak and my hips are so ridden with arthritis that I couldn't go longer then two minutes before having to stop. I want to get my body in better shape and strengthen my muscles so that I can run for ten minutes straight.

6. Officially change my major and get on fast grad. Obtain a graduation date!

I know that when I get back from China, I'm going to be ready to be done with school. I need to get my butt to the academic advising office, get through the paper work to change my major officially to English Ed. and try to get my double minor approved. I need to apply and get onto Fast Grad, and then get a graduation date and then stick to my class plan to finish on time! I'm going to be in college forever if I don't!

7. Read Book of Mormon. Again!

Such a wonderful experience last year, I want to do it again, but keep a journal while doing it this time and develop a marking system.

8. Get weight down to 145 and maintain it. 

I'm at the "perfect weight" according to my doctor, but I would like to lose a few pounds and get fit. This means a regular exercise routine and just being healthier and eating healthier and then sticking to it.

9. Continue to stay secure and supportive.

I made it through a year of writing my missionary. It was harder then I ever though possible, but I've learned so much about myself, about God and about my relationship with him. I hope to continue to improve all of those relationships and to stay secure and faithful during the next year.

10. Go to a state I haven't been to before. 

Gotta drive Cazz back this summer to Idaho. Dad wants to stop in Omaha, NE to see his aunt. I want to see Mount Rushmore in SD. Either way, I should be able to cross off a state I haven't been to by the end of the year.

11. Become a pro with my crock pot.

I cooked three meals with my crock pot this last semester and I am hooked. I loved getting up, throwing a bunch of ingredients into a pot, going to school and work all day and coming home to a ready to eat and yummy and HEALTHY meal. I must become pro at the crock pot. I want to make a meal with it every week in the fall if possible.

Well, those are my goals for 2012! A lot of them are a lot more tangible then last years, but that's okay. These are certain aspects of myself that I want to work on, things I want to improve and easily be able to see the results. I'm excited about these goals, excited to hold myself accountable for them by the end of the year. 

I know that this year holds challenges for me, but I also know that it holds blessings, miracles and opportunities to grow, learn and better myself. And I'm excited to see what those opportunities are. Bring it on, 2012. 

resolutions of 2011

here they are. here we go.

1. Straight A's Winter semester.

The last couple years, I always set a goal for a few a's, a few b's. But I think I need to set the bar higher for myself.  I want to prove to myself and my parents that I am capable of straight A's.

2. Do everything possible to be financially stable for this summer.

this means NOT using my credit card, saving up so I can get Cazz home after the winter semester and pay for him during the summer that I'm not working.

3. Knee Replacement

Well, this is already set in stone to happen next April. (i'm still in complete shock that it's actually going to happen) I guess I just want to be as prepared, mentally, emotionally and physically as possible to take on this surgery. There is just a lot that goes into a procedure like this, and I want to be able to tackle it and overcome it in the best possible way. The biggest part of this for me is to maintain a positive attitude throughout the whole experience. 

4. Write

This is in two parts. one: I want to be a dedicated pen pal to my missionary. Two: And I want to take the time that I'm off my feet for most of next year to write something. Maybe a book or novel or my life story. I don't know. I just want to write.

5. Read the Book of Mormon

I was thinking about this the other day, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but I don't think I've ever read the entire Book of Mormon, cover to cover, in linear form. I know I've studied it, and I know that I've probably read the whole thing in chunks here and there throughout my life, but I want to read it, in it's entirety, from start to finish. 

6. Pick Piano Back Up.

Pretty straightforward. I want to relearn how to play, and I want to be able to play well. 

7. Be Better with my Time

I just don't want to waste away in front of the tv or the computer the coming year. I want to be better at budgeting my time and not procrastinating homework during the next semester. I realize that some of it will be needed while I'm in the recovery stage after surgery, but I want to be productive or accomplish something. I don't know what exactly that entails yet, but I'm thinking it will be something along the lines of working for/making things for my floor at children's. I have a huge desire to give back to the people who gave so much to me.

8. Take Better Care of My Body

this comes in a few different parts and is something I really want to master. I've grown really used to relying on someone else to look out for me, and I need to be able to do this for myself over the next couple years, for him and for myself:

1. Sleep more. (I need to kick the sickness I have right now completely in order to get my knee replacement)

2. Eat better. 

3. Swim 

4. Take care of my knee. Know when to say no. Know what the limits are and what adjustments need to be made. Make good choices about how far to push it.

9. Grow out my hair and stop dying the heck out of it!

I just want healthy, long hair again. And that means no drastic hair cuts and obsessive amounts of chemicals.

10. China

Start making plans, researching and maybe learning some Chinese so that I can be prepared to teach English in China in 2012. 

11. Stay Secure

In myself, in my relationships, and in my testimony. I know that this next year will have it's trials and it's rough patches and that I'm going to have a hard time without some people not being by my side. I just need to trust myself and stay secure.

I think that is it. Pretty hefty list, if I do say so myself. But I'm excited to tackle it.

I'm anxious for this next year. There are a few big changes headed my way....starting in 27 days. Everything that I've come to know and rely on over the last eight months is going to change.  I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous about a lot of things. But I'm positive that everything that is going to change over the next four-five months is going to be beneficial in the end. As my mom always says: "Bigger picture, Belle. Think of the bigger picture." My best friend leaving me for the next two years isn't the happiest thought. My best friend going to serve a mission and having the opportunity to help out so many people in Mexico, and learning and growing and becoming a missionary; having the chance to serve and bring truth to those who are looking for it and being able to grow and learn things for himself...that is the bigger picture. Getting my leg hacked up again and having to go through a 5-8 month recovery process to be able to walk again and not being able to go to school next fall isn't the best thought. Regaining stability, endurance, and becoming pain free and having the opportunity to teach in China in a couple years...that is the bigger picture.

I'm scared and nervous and anxious and excited and thrilled all in once. But I'm just going to hold on to the hope and faith that there is a plan; and that everything will work out in the end. I'm going to trust in my faith; without a solid footing in what I believe in, none of the coming changes would be endurable.

I'm so grateful for this last year. I'm so grateful for the people it brought into my life; for the lessons I learned and for the person I became throughout the last twelve months. I seriously don't think I could have asked for a more beautiful year. And as I think about everything that happened and everything that it included (learning how to trust again, my best friend's wedding, spring semester, cancer free for four years, and falling in love) , I can't help but be so incredibly grateful for my life. and for the opportunity I have to live it and to experience every small wonder. Every once in a while, it hits me, out of the blue, that I'm not really supposed to be alive...that I got a second chance to live. Cancer was supposed to win the war, but I somehow came out on top. And I couldn't be more grateful for it. 

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. I'm filled with hope.

this is my life. and no matter what happens, it is so. freaking. beautiful.

To all of my friends, readers, and strangers who stumble upon this:

Happy New Years! I hope 2011 will bring you beauty and hope and joy. I hope that whatever comes your way during the next year, that you will remember to breathe and think of the bigger picture. I hope you smile when it rains outside and that you will tell the ones you love, that you love them frequently because you never know when that opportunity might be gone. Don't live with regrets. Life is meant for making mistakes and learning from them. It's called living! Don't be afraid to get lost in the woods, or to get a little wet from the sprinklers! Don't be afraid to fall in love, it's one of the most amazing things you could ever let yourself experience. Don't be afraid to try new things, or to be happy on your own, either. Don't be afraid of yourself. Just go on adventures and appreciate the simplest things! Life is so beautiful! Don't let it pass you by, because you just never know when you might lose that chance to appreciate it. 

smile. 

you are alive. 

all of my love,

Chelsie Caroline