I'm just in love with this world

and photographers who can take shots like these and compile them into products like this. 

Life is so beautiful

The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

P.S.

if you like being a reader, don't be afraid to hit the follow button!

=]

dear readers:

hi! I'm sill kickin'!

and also, still in the hospital.

but hopefully, I will be bustin' this joint tomorrow.

I promise to be a dedicated blogger and writer once things settle down in the next few days, but i just had to let you all know:

today, i was allowed to put a little bit of weight on my left leg.

and I felt a real, working knee in there.

PT today was emotional, painful and frustrating.

I have such a long, long way to go.

I'm essentially learning how to walk all over again.

but it's okay, because it will come.

I believe in miracles.

and I know that I am capable of overcoming this; with the Lord on my side.

I would like you all to do me a favor in the near future:

take the stairs and think about how great it is that you can go up and down them.

walk down your driveway, barefoot if possible, to get the mail and just enjoy the way your muscles move in your legs. feel them. appreciate them.

and tell someone you love, that you love them.

my love to you all; who stumble across this blog or who keep up with me regularly.

you are all great.

and life is beautiful.

Always,

Chelsie Caroline

this battle is so hard...

but, getting a glimpse at my left knee between bandage dressings,

and realizing that for the first time in five years, my knee no longer has these giant lumps of scar tissue

or indents from the the hardware holding me all together,

and seeing a swollen, but normally shaped kneed

on my left my left leg...

something i never thought i would get,

something i never though would be possible for me,

every tear, upset stomach, ache, and over all complication

has been so worth it.

I believe in miracles.

the 22nd.

Hi.

I am getting a new knee on Friday.

<3

Theme Song

on change and other things

sometimes, there are moments when i just get blindsided. 

it was a lazy, beautiful day in new england;

my favorite kind: sunny, breezy and perfect blue skies.

new hampshire is just starting to come alive right now, and I live for this time of the year.

but within a few clicks of the mouse; life has changed.

here are a few things i've learned as i've dealt with a million emotions:

Change is the only constant thing in life. as hard as it is sometimes, it is the only thing we can rely on never changing.

Change gives us opportunities to learn. Through change, we have the ability to be taught the greatest lessons in life. And, if we get too caught up in the actual change, we lose out on learning those lessons.

My belief in my religion is the only thing that I can rely on to pull me through hard times.

I am willing to do anything or sacrifice anything for those I love. 

I believe in the bigger picture and in the plan that clearly is beyond me. but I believe in it and I trust it, so I'm letting go of everything I thought I knew and putting it all into the Lord's hands. 

And while I stood at the edge of my ocean today; I realized that I am so small in this world,

but that I still count for something anyway.

I am a believer of life and of living mine to the fullest potential.

I've got to do a little bit of reworking and going back to the drawing boards, 

but I am ready to face it.

I'm making my own plans (and working hard with God to make sure they are the right ones)

and I'm throwing my old ones away (the ones where I thought I knew what I was doing and clearly needed to be redirected)

Hello Summer, 2011. 

You are holding some of the biggest challenges I have yet to face.

but I'm ready to take you on.

this is my life. and i'm the only one who is strong enough to live it. 

remember

I was given this life because I am the only one strong enough to survive it.

I am

speechless.

unpacking is dumb

wanna know what is weird? everyone in my house going to bed at nine. Last night, I tried to go to bed with them, because it was weird being awake for hours after everyone else, but I just laid on my back for hours until I finally fell asleep.


so, it's now midnight here and I'm still in the process of moving my room around (I need my bed against a wall for my left leg's protection next week) and I still haven't TOUCHED anything in the trunk of my car (minus my nintendo 64, because that is needed in order to bond with my brother). I thought to myself: "hey, put on Harry Potter on tape and unpack and clean" and then I got sucked into my China book and I just remembered I have to get up with the family tomorrow at 5:30 to take the kids to seminary. good thing I took a shower tonight.

Notice how I have NO clothes hung up yet. 

messy bed. 

Good thing I'm a believer of naps and weekend cleanouts. Also, my new phone should be here tomorrow! And. I printed out some of my favorite shots from this last semester and framed them super nice to put on my wall and my dad came in my room last night and asked me where he could find the prints because he really liked them and I got to say: "I TOOK THOSE!" yay! Sadly, I haven't taken a single photograph since I've been home because I don't know where my battery charger is packed and I also can't find my SD card. Oh the joys of moving home from across the country.

this is all. goodnight!

she is from New Hampshire!

=] i like being home a lot. It's sunny and warm (high 60's) and the sky is super blue. I also like walking down my driveway to the mailbox to get happy letters. all in all. I'm so happy to be home.

I just wanted to help. I didn't realize I was in the wrong.

America, the Beautiful

I drove across the country this weekend.
I drove across the country this weekend.
And it was one of the most beautiful experiences ever.

I never understood how beautiful America was until this weekend. Every inch; every state has some kind of incredible aura to it. Stunning.

Eastern Utah has these beautiful Mesas that rise up from the ground with different layers of brown and black sediments streaking in lines. There is this weird rock canyon that I-70 winds through by Price, UT. The cliffs look like sea-sponge; all of these holes and arches carved out in intricate patterns that glow in the setting sun and cast shadows across the highway.

The Rockies in Colorado are massive and as you climb up through them, you pass through little ski-resort towns that are literally built into the sides of the mountains. The pass between these massive slopes is so narrow that West bound is built some 50 feet higher then East bound, almost like a double decker bridge. And at night, all's you can see are these shadows of the peaks and the constant curve of the highway as you climb and climb until you are 11,000 feet in the air.

Kansas is not dull and boring; like many people have told me. We drove through it at night and well into the morning, and the Kansas night sky is nothing like I have ever seen. It's even better then the sky in Idaho at the dunes. Thousands and thousands of stars, like illuminated grains of sand, scattered across the sky. And the sun rise over a flat horizon, with the edges of the world tinged in pink and soft orange as this massive golden globe creeps up and up, spreading the light across long fields.

Missouri and Illinois was filled with warm air that was heavy and made all of the trees that are sprouting green sway in the breeze. Little white blossoms on trees flew around in the wind and a light scent of flowers carried across everywhere.

Indianapolis, Indiana is one of the cleanest, streamlined cities I've ever driven through, and quiet for a city. Everything glows in the classic city glow, but there is a distinct glow to this city. It's alive with culture and growth.

Ohio has hills and hills and hills and highways that wind through them and roll up and down.

Pennsylvania has a lot of deer and trees and trees and trees that creep up over the road and cast beautiful shadows across the pavement.

Rural New York is breathtaking and historic. Beautiful colonial houses line the streets and stretch into the foothills of the mountains.

And then there is New England, and my beloved New Hampshire; which is a realm of it's own. There is something so distinct about New England air; it is so fresh and clean. The sun shines in rays; through the trees and there is such a gentle breeze that wafts life through every corner of my house.

America is beautiful and after seeing so much of it this last weekend, I know, without a doubt; that God is in the details. Nothing, but a higher power, could have created something so beautiful. This, I believe.

oh and also. New England sets my soul on fire and my heart will always belong to New Hampshire.
i love being home.

after 43 hours and 2700 miles...

and a flawless preformance by Cazz (including the most insane snowstorm through the Rocky Mountains in Colorado), I am home. I'll blog about it more later. I'm super gross and I need a shower.

new england bound tomorrow

I am all moved out and school is finished. I'm currently sitting on the couch with my best friend, Julianna and her husband (the big brother that I never had), and laughing super hard about everything, after eating a well balanced meal of macaroni and cheese, french fries and green beans. Cazz did beautifully today on the way to Utah. and I get to hug my dad tomorrow. Plus, I start the long, epic drive home tomorrow and I will find myself on New Hampshire Soil in just a few more days.

It's Snowing and I wore my Sunglasses

Rexburg weather is bipolar.

Cazz needs an oil change

I'm finished with all but one class

I get to see my Daddy on Saturday

I got a letter in the mail today from Sister Moore,

so the mailman is back on my Christmas list.

I want to take a nap, but I think I might pack up the rest of my stuff instead.

I will be in New Hampshire on Monday.

I am currently digging a mix of The Script, The Fray and Linkin Park.

All totally random, but all so good.

I love everything about today.

I am number four

“There is always hope. New developments have yet to present themselves. Not all the information is in. No. Don’t give up hope just yet. It’s the last thing to go. When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope.”

it will come tomorrow.
just hang in there.

dear chelsie

stop overthinking.
it's dumb.

love,
Chelsie

I am fighting so hard to break the bonds my knee has placed on me.
and yet, I never seem to escape them.
it's so hard not to get discouraged.

I can't believe...

...that I am entering my last week in Rexburg for quite sometime. I am so excited to go home; to breathe solid New England air, to spend quality time with my ocean and summer and getting my freckles, to hang out with my family and to learn more about the beautiful individuals my siblings are becoming. I can not wait to invest time in things that I haven't had the ability to do lately, like reading classic novels and learning Spanish and Chinese and writing long letters to my best friend. I'm anxious, but overall, excited to get my new knee and to recover and work hard to be walking right for the first time in five years. I cannot wait to spend time with my kitty and to sleep in my big, glorious bed and to watch the fireflies come alive on hot August nights as the sun sets.

but honestly, I'm pretty sad about leaving Idaho. Rexburg has been my home for the last year and a half. Some of my favorite memories; my very best friends and the spirit that has taught me and shaped me into the person I am today are all here, in this small little town. There is a spirit and feeling about Rexburg that has change me, for the good. I am better here. I understand life here. I'm closer to God here.

because, when it comes down to it, I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be until I came here.

As cold as the winters get, and as dull as some nights can be,

this beautiful skyline and the countless stars that are scattered across the sky

the sand dunes, the big hill and the roads that only Cazz and I seem to know

this is where I figured myself out.

I know who I am now.

and I know where I want to go and who I want to continue to be.

So maybe it's okay that I'm leaving now, because I've got it figured out.

Thank you, Rexburg.

My heart may always belong to New England, but a large part of who I am is all thanks to you.

Hello April.

You are bringing a whole lot of change for me.

In just one week, I'll be driving across this whole country, back to my beloved New Hampshire.

In a little over a week, my best friend will be in the mission field.

In three weeks, I'll be getting my knee replaced.

and life, as I know it, will never be the same again.

Bring it on. I'm ready to meet you head on.

If my eyes stay shut.

Look at me, listen close
So I can tell you how I feel before I go
Just a year, it's not much time
For me to show you I am proud that you are mine 
I wish I had known
The future in my heart was just about to start

Say tomorrow, I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you, Always near you
I'll give you the words
Just sing for me

Every lock, on every door
I put them there
To try and hide you from the world
And you kicked, yeah you screamed You never understood you're everything to me 
I just hope you know
The future in your heart is just about to start 

Say tomorrow, I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you, Always near you
I'll give you the words
Just sing for me

No looking back when I am gone Follow your heart its never wrong 
No looking back when I am gone
Don't second guess the note you're on

Out of time, all out of fight You are the only thing in life that I got right 

Say tomorrow, I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you, Always near you
I'll give you the words
Just sing for me

Today was a transformer kinda day

I wore my new transformer t-shirt, with my transformer belt buckle and drove Cazz around, who has recently been decked out with a transformer decal. I even spent a good hour and a half cleaning him out! I threw out all of the trash, vacuumed the heck out of the carpets and seats, washed down the dash and consol, put in new mats, cleaned out the trunk and took him to the car wash. He just needs a tire rotation and balance and oil change and he is set to go for next week.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been putting together a blog for my photography. I'll let you all know when it's ready to be viewed, but I'm excited about it! I have a few family sessions lined up for when I come home, and I'm stoked!

I should be hearing back from ILP about china soon. Tomorrow is my last Friday in the Burg.

I"M COMING HOME SOON! I CAN'T WAIT!
NEW HAMPSHIRE, HERE I FREAKING COME!