Today was a transformer kinda day

I wore my new transformer t-shirt, with my transformer belt buckle and drove Cazz around, who has recently been decked out with a transformer decal. I even spent a good hour and a half cleaning him out! I threw out all of the trash, vacuumed the heck out of the carpets and seats, washed down the dash and consol, put in new mats, cleaned out the trunk and took him to the car wash. He just needs a tire rotation and balance and oil change and he is set to go for next week.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been putting together a blog for my photography. I'll let you all know when it's ready to be viewed, but I'm excited about it! I have a few family sessions lined up for when I come home, and I'm stoked!

I should be hearing back from ILP about china soon. Tomorrow is my last Friday in the Burg.

I"M COMING HOME SOON! I CAN'T WAIT!
NEW HAMPSHIRE, HERE I FREAKING COME!

cazz machine

This is the Cazz Machine

2003 Hyundai Sonata.

and even though it's a car

I look at it more like a best friend,

because having it around is the most consistent thing in my life these days

and nothing makes me feel better than a car drive.

the Cassidy Remedy.

On the way home,

this car hears my confessions.

I think tonight I'll take the long way.

This weather.

The wind outside is biting.

It has left me feeling tired & exposed.

You've been asking me to bleed.

It seems these kinds of questions

come too easy to you now.

Your lack of shame comes naturally.

I should not be surprised.

I should have seen it sooner.

You expect me to apologize

for things that you've done wrong.

While you're inciting others.

You're owning up to nothing

and I wish that I was gone,

because you're not going anywhere.

This damp air

is fighting my defroster.

My sighs they ring victorious

& fog this tinted glass.

It's clouded

& so is my head.

The hint of these new tears are sharp.

I try to choke them back.

But it's useless.

I am useless against them.

They are beating me with ease.

On the way home

this car hears my confessions.

I think tonight I'll take the long way.

You expect me to apologize

for things that you've done wrong.

While you're inciting others.

You're owning up to nothing

and I wish that I was gone,

because you're not going anywhere.

On the way home

this car hears my confessions.

I think tonight I'll take the long way.

i love cazz remedies.

cookies and car rides

the Idaho Sky never ceases to impress me,

and sometimes I feel like I could drive forever, as long as I have good music and gas money.

I love days filled with roommates, pretty dresses and general girly things.

I also like being creative, spending time with my big brother and enjoying new music.

And I like new friends, who every day, become more less like new friends, and more like regular buddies.

I also like Halloween Oreos and acoustic covers.

hello Cassidy

so, I'm sitting on my couch, waiting for the phone call from my mom to let me know that she had landed in Salt Lake City and was on her way up. The phone call comes. Mom is on the road. She's driving a silver Hyundai Sonata and she is really impressed with it. i giggle.

the door knocks.

"COME IN!"

i yell in mid conversation with my mother.

blonde hair. Red Sweatshirt. Handlebar Mustache.

In walks my father.

utter shock

..DAD?

*click* i hang up the phone.

"Did you just hang up on your mother?"

...oh yeah...i guess i did...isn't she with you?

"call her back."

Mom is back on the phone and I ask where she is.

Dad holds up the key. familiar black rounded top with the slanted H in the corner.

Hamilton?

"Your grandfather and I decided to take a road trip."

..shock...

"go get some shoes."

I run fast into my room. Best friend is frantically getting dressed. "i can't believe i'm missing this!"

I slide on my slippers and run back out. up the stairs, out the door. Grandfather standing outside with the camera.

I walk into the parking lot, cautiously.

mom, where are you?

"Mom isn't coming."

...shock...

mom isn't coming?

..sadness..

"we needed a reason to keep you home today."

...shock...

Dad holds up the key.

oh right...key...

is Hamilton here?

"I'm driving this really nice Silver Hyundai Sonata..." my mom says in the cell phone.

silver...hyundai...

eyes make a connection with a silver car in the parking lot.

is that...is that the car?

"check the license plates..."

running around the back...New Hampshire...live free or die...

it clicks

DAD...DID YOU BUY ME A CAR?

laughter and delight. Best friend giggling in the background.

and then the tears came. non stop shedding of tears. shock, surprise, overwhelming love for my father.

I am so blessed. I am so blessed. words can not describe how thankful I am and how loved I feel.

He's not Hamilton. He's not my little green car with the little purr. He's Cassidy. Silver sleekness and quiet stealth. The love of a father for his daughter wrapped into a beautiful gesture of compassion and adoration. it's amazing and I am speechless. Dad bought me a car. He drove it across the country. He sacrificed so much so that I could have this car. I am so blessed.

and life is so beautiful.