The Lord is on thy Side.

This morning was not good. I woke up from a dream, and couldn't fall back asleep. My mind started running about all of the things that need to get done in the next four days and I just felt like the world was placed on my shoulder. 

I have worked really hard this semester to get my grades up. I've been a little stressed about getting off of academic probation, but have been pretty collected about having the situation under control. I got an e-mail from the registrar the other day, reminding me that if my grades are not good by the end of the semester, then I will be suspended from school. It was like turning my blood into pure stress. I can't get suspended from school. I love Idaho, I belong out here and I can not face my parents if I got suspended from school. I would feel like such a failure and disappointment. 

I've been on work overload this weekend. I've been pouring over my grades over and over again.

I have an 82 in Science. I am studying hard for my last unit exam and my final exam. I am not afraid of this grade going down. I am safe.

I have an 85 in Humanities. The exam is a take-home and open notes. I have to finish a few culture event sheets and make sure my module exam grade gets recorded. I am safe in this class.

I have a 72 in History, but I have two weeks of work I need to catch up with, which will put me into the 80's. Plus, I completed the extra credit, which will give me an extra 8% on my grade. I am safe in this class.

I do not have a very good grade in Middle East, which is ironically my favorite class this semester. I fell earlier this semester and missed a few classes. Even though I got them medically excused, my teacher would not let me make up a few quizzes, which really hurt me. I'm going to talk to my teacher tomorrow and hopefully get that squared away. 

Book of Mormon is up in the air right now, but it should be fine. I will feel better about that grade when I hand in my extra-credit and make-up work tomorrow.

But. I should be safe. I should be fine. My grades should be okay and I should get off of academic probation. Should. I hate that word.

General Conference today was amazingly moving and really helped my soul.

There was one speaker who spoke of changes in our lives and how we must embrace them because they are part of God's plan for us. If we have faith and have good attitudes, then we will be able to see ourselves through the changes that we face and know that everything will work out in the end. As I sit here, four days out from the end of the semester; facing some very hard goodbyes and some very welcoming hello's, I know that these coming changes will be hard. 

But I also know that these changes in my life are all part of the plan that God has for me. I know that going home this summer, that Brian leaving and going on his mission for two years, and that whatever my academic standing ends up being are all part of the eternal plan that God has for me. I take comfort in knowing that even though I am not aware of what may happen, that God does and that he will not forsake me or leave me comfortless. 

These are my thoughts of today. I must turn back to my academics. Hopefully by tomorrow night, the phrase my grades should be fine will turn into my grades will be fine.