christmas time is here.

i'm making plans and i'm setting goals and I have things to do and people to see and a person to become.
this is my life and i'm in charge of it and i have to take care of myself and do things for me.
i'm tired of waiting on what-ifs and maybes. I'm going to be proactive and not let cancer or anything else stand in the way of what I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to be.

that being said. I have some serious goals and resolutions to write out for next year. looking back on this time, a year ago, I honestly cannot believe how much has changed and the person that I have grown into. I'm really starting to love who I am, and to be honest, I never thought I would get to that point. A year ago, I was still trying to put myself together, I was still bitter and angry and resentful, I was having issues trusting people and I hated so many things about myself that I could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. And now, a year later, I'm more confident and secure about who I am than I ever have been before, I'm in the most beautiful and inspiring relationship I have ever come to know of, I am finally figuring out where I want to go with my life and the things I want to accomplish. I feel driven and motivated and most of all, I feel loved for who I am, not who people think I am. and that's a big deal.

Christmas is such a beautiful day, because I always get a chance to reflect back on who I am and who I am becoming and everything that has changed or happened to me during the last year. Can I just say that I'm in love with this year? and I'm in love with everything that I have faced, overcome, struggled with or accomplished? I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. and with hope.

because, after all, groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.