off day.

Please bare with me as I fiddle with the layout of this blog. I still feel like I haven't gotten it right yet.

So. For a warning. This entry is going to be very scattered and probably confusing. I have a lot on my mind, a lot to get off my chest and a lot to say. You don't have to read all of it. I will understand.

Let's just start off with the fact that today I went to get a sandwhich on campus. I always always always get a ham and cheese sandwhich on white bread with mayo, pickles and lettuce. Today, for some reason, I got roast beef instead. I don't know why. I opened my mouth and instead of ham, roast beef came out. It threw me for a loop.

I am also eating weird combinations of food today. I just finished a bag of sour cream and onion chips with a big glass of rootbeer and starbursts. I also had m&m's for breakfast this morning.

I took a shower after I got out of bed, and instead of washing my hair, I sat in the shower and just let the water rinse me. And my mind went between thinking a lot, or thinking about nothing at all.

I'm aching in weird places. My right arm feels like someone pulled blood from the crook of my elbow. And my left hip is murdering me. And it bruised spontaneously. I have this giant black and blue spread all over my left hip bone. My shoulders are really really tight too. ouch.

I really really miss my new friends in California. I miss my boyfriend. 

I'm starting to get nervous about the next few months and the changes that are about to take place. 

I fell today. I face planted it on campus. I didn't even get hurt this time. It was so humiliating and I was already super emotional that I just curled up in a ball and laughed. I just laughed like a crazy woman. My roommate did too, so I didn't look that crazy I guess.

I found out that I have this OCD quirk that involves me not being able to cut across grass if there is a sidewalk. I have to walk on the sidewalk. Weird.

I was going to crawl back into bed after my shower, but I decided to go to science class because I didn't want to sit in my bed and think about the things that have been getting me down.

I really can not wait for this semester to be over. I can not wait to be back in California with Brian and Zandra. 

My 19th birthday is tomorrow, and I keep on forgetting about it. It doesn't feel like my birthday. 

When I look back at where I was a year ago, I can not believe how far I have come, how much I've changed, and how happy I am compared to then.

I think I'm home sick. I've just been missing a lot of things that are back East lately.

I miss Brett and Juli:

I miss my Kitties:

I miss naps with Gin:

I miss music, marching band, and football games:

I miss my city. I miss Boston:

I miss my car (the one on the right):

I miss car rides with my daddy:

I miss jeep rides with Julianna:

I MISS NEW ENGLAND:

I miss my backyard and rainstorms:

I miss the beach:

I miss my parents:

"Get to know your parents...you'll never know when they'll be gone for good."

I miss my sisters:

I miss my family:

"Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."

and I really really miss my Idaho Family...already:

"Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on."

just an off day.