the question is: do i go for it without saying a thing? or do i speak up? do i ignore my fears or do I face them? can i let myself actually be happy again or do i let all of my insecurities and fears get in the way of something that looks like it is full of potential? Is there really something there or is it just me? Can I let my trust barriers down and actually open up? Is there time to open up? Should I just take it as it comes?
I don't know.
but as I lay here in my bed with my window cracked and the sounds of soft rain falling with the occasional breeze sweeping by; the sounds of SPRING and promised green things and with such an eventful and full day behind me; I realize that I'm happy. I mean, i'm stressed beyond words and I have SO MUCH work to do before the end of this week, and I'm honestly petrified about the goodbye that I have to face next week but. I'm think I'm really happy.
i guess the real question is: can I actually allow myself to be happy this time?
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