4.11.09

i have a few things bouncing around in my head right now so forgive me if this is scattered and kind of odd and unconnected.

I had a very deep chat with a friend last night about some of the things I wrote about the other day, and he said something I found kind of profound.

"Every relationship is a failure until you get married."

Hm. Interesting. It has me thinking, and making me kind of curious. What qualifies a failed relationship? Does the way a relationship end (poorly or well) make a difference? I guess it makes sense. We get into relationships to get married, and if we don't get married, then the relationship failed to fulfill the purpose.

I think I needed to hear that last night. I think I needed to understand that there will be more failures and that I need to take the risk in order to finally find the winning one. My friend said that we all get hurt and damaged and we all have trust issues and that we will keep on getting teared into and brought down and become broken hearted but that is how the process of relationships work. We have to be broken a few times in order to know when we are whole.

on that note, I am really content with the fact that I have these friends around. It is such a comfort to feel trusted and wanted around again. It's an element in my life that I've been missing since last fall. at the same time, I still have the guard up to protect me. But after last night, I saw a glimmer of hope that there is potential for someone to take it down again. It will take a lot of work, but I don't think that I will be closed up forever.

This probably makes no sense. oh well.

I guess what I am trying to say is that: These new friends have been sent to me at the right time and say the right things when I am in need of direction and hope. I am so thankful for that.




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't believe that relationships are ever failures. If you look at them in that swallow way of "oh, I'm not marrying this person" then yes, it is a failure. Look at it in a different light, digging down deeper and seeing how that person has changed you. Not the fear and distress you now face, but the view you now have on the world. How you were able to understand what it feels like to love and be loved in return. How incredible that you were blessed with such a rare occassion in today's world. You shared something so precious and so sacred and when we do lose it, it hurts like heck. Love is apart of the creator's central plan of happiness. I'm so sorry you are hurt. I am so sorry he ran. I am so sorry you aren't getting any closure. Remember, you are loved. I bet you he loves you still. He just has his priorities in other places. You have your own responsibilities. You are loved, and will forever be a strength to those around you. Don't let the negativity surpress who you truly are. I love you.