Today was a transformer kinda day

I wore my new transformer t-shirt, with my transformer belt buckle and drove Cazz around, who has recently been decked out with a transformer decal. I even spent a good hour and a half cleaning him out! I threw out all of the trash, vacuumed the heck out of the carpets and seats, washed down the dash and consol, put in new mats, cleaned out the trunk and took him to the car wash. He just needs a tire rotation and balance and oil change and he is set to go for next week.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been putting together a blog for my photography. I'll let you all know when it's ready to be viewed, but I'm excited about it! I have a few family sessions lined up for when I come home, and I'm stoked!

I should be hearing back from ILP about china soon. Tomorrow is my last Friday in the Burg.

I"M COMING HOME SOON! I CAN'T WAIT!
NEW HAMPSHIRE, HERE I FREAKING COME!

Birthday Weekend

Birthday Weekend in Photos!

Misao and I at Cafe Rio:

The car crew! Misao, Sylvia, Luke and Pablo!

After dropping off Luke and Pablo in Logan, we picked up Jillise in Salt Lake!

I got to spend my birthday evening with my best friend, Juli, her husband, Jordan and his parents, who are like second parents to me. They made me birthday brownies and got my favorite icecream!

Beth and Bishop got me a book on China to help me get ready for teaching there next year!

Juli and Jord got me a "Grow Your Own Butterfly Garden!" So precious!

This is my best friend. 

some things never change. Especially after we've been separated for a few months

Jillise and the best frosting ever!

Jillise and Symone made me my favorite cake! Yellow with Chocolate frosting!

Saturday, Juli and I spent a couple hours in Hobby Lobby. Typical for us.

Then Bishop and Beth took us all out to Pizza Pie Cafe for lunch!

We met up with Ian and Heidi, who are also from my home ward!

Then, Juli and I picked up Symone and Jillise and we went to the festival of colors in Spanish Fork, UT!

This is us all clean, waiting for the shuttle to take us to the Hindu Temple

We were splattered with chalk within a few minutes of getting to the temple! People couldn't stand us being clean!

This is us before the throwing. 

And this is me after the throwing! 

And this is me at the very end of our day! Covered in chalk!

Jillise, Symone and I went to Ihop later that night to eat dinner. It was a sucky experience with the waitress, but we had fun drinking chocolate milk and pancakes.

This is Misao, laughing at something.

best birthday weekend. ever.

plus, i got the most beautiful lilies from my missionary.

he remembered that those are my favorites. so precious.

color my world

if i could take that ride on the dirt bike down the hill;

you know the one,

 you drove too fast, on the last warm day of fall.

i still remember the last of the sun beams hitting my back and you screamed

"I love you!"

for the whole world to hear.

and if i could take that moment i stood on top of the world, 

with nothing but new england air and the smell of birch trees in late fall.

the lingering of morning dampness in the creases of my elbows and the

smell of pine on fire and bacon popping over the griddle...

and if i could take the feeling of winter's chill wrapped around my home

and the gentle roar of the fire in the iron vault

and the soothing rumble of a kitty's content purr

pressed against my toes...

and if i could take that evening thunderstorm rolling over the atlantic ocean

over the beach and out towards the heavens,

my feet resting on the railing, cracked with old blue paint

and sprinkled with a few stray raindrops,

the crests of the waves illuminated in split seconds of blinding truth

the rush of tides pounding in time with the rumble of the storm...

and if i could take that jeep ride in the summer rain

and the day you told me you loved me

if i could take the words: "your hair will grow back now"

and winding roads of yellowstone...

if i could take the sunrise over the caribbean in late april,

and the taste of hazelnut hot cocoa on a harsh winter's day

and if i could take the warmth of my dad's hug

and your smile pressed into my cheek

and late afternoon naps in spots of sunshine

if i could take those moments and memories

and use them to color my world,

well,

i think i would look a little something like this:

the last poet standing.

i chased the sunset today
and i remembered the days when we would chase it together
and it was you and me and me and you,
watching the sun cut itself open and bleed
across the sky and sink down below the shark teeth of the horizon.

sometimes that melody of ours builds up inside of me that i just scream it outloud,

i turn it around and inside out and updside down and

i put words backwards and throw one up and three to the right.

i whisper it to the quiet of your memories that i squeeze from myself

and follow it across to the ghost of your shadows 

on the brick walls that memorized our figures in the red stone on the night you knew you loved me.

the harmony of your heart still echos in the hollow of my ear,
vibrating in my vertebrae and fitting tightly in the gaps between my rib cage where
empty spaces now ache for the heat of your hands and long for
the way the ridges of your spine rose into the spaces between my fingers like
a well worn trail in the smoldering deep of the forest that only you
and i know about.

i'm screaming that melody for you to hear as i drive down the hill that
we used to drive every night with the windows down and my feet hanging out the left side.
you always went to fast and the brakes always held us
from meeting the glass but even if they didn't,
we would have made it through the crash, with our hands
woven together, carried away in the chords
of that song you used to sing to me
as i feel asleep.

sometimes...
sometimes i sit by myself at the top of that hill and i put
the car in park because i don't want the brakes to go out on me without you and
I reach out and cut the sun with my dry fingertips and watch it bleed across the sky,
hoping that it will leave you a trail of red to follow
and i turn our words upside down and inside out and turn them
over and over and over again.

but the melody stays the same
and i send it to the bleeding sun and watch the notes engrave themselves in the wisps of
the sky and i watch the saw teeth swallow the last of the light whole and i
hope where ever you are, that the sun will stain your skin with those notes,
repeating them back to you and etching them
into the ridge of your back bone where my fingers are supposed to be, drumming out the rhythm
for you to repeat back to me against my rib cage
reminding you of where home is.

and until you come back to the top of the hill, i will
continue to cut that sun open every night and turn our words on top of their selves
and hum that melody that holds me together while the spaces of my body where you belong are vacant,
waiting for your harmony to fill them up,
waiting for you to come home.

I LIKE TODAY!

SYMONE CAME HOME!
CAZZ GOT A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!
I ORDERED A TRANSFORMER STICKER FOR HIM!
IT'S PAY DAY!
I LIKE OUR NEW OFFICE AT WORK!
I TOOK A GREAT NAP!
I GOT BIRTHDAY CARDS AND A LETTER IN THE MAIL!
I'M GONNA SEE SOME OF MY FAVORITE NEW ENGLANDERS FRIDAY!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY FRIDAY!
FESTIVAL OF COLORS ON SATURDAY!
I"M GOING TO BE HOMEEEEEEE IN JUST TWO WEEKS!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
I LOVE THE CHURCH!
I LOVE BYU-IDAHO!
I LOVE MY LIFE!
I LOVE EVERYTHING!

i hate this part, right here.

i'm just so tired. won't you sing me to sleep?

This, I believe:

God is in the Details.

Be Still and Know that I Am.

grateful

for my mom.

today:

planet earth and teachings of the living prophets homework=perfect quite night.