20.4.12

still inspired


sometimes you just need to find yourself again,
even if you haven't entirely lost yourself in the first place. 

through the lens of a camera, the melody of a song or the words of a book.
the way the sun colors the smog of a city.
the sound of tiny feet pounding up stairs.

You begin to realize the the things that inspired you back in the day are worn out and tired,
and you have become worn out and tired.
washed up and stuck in the same routine.
It's comfortable and familiar and warm.

But then you read something the reminds you of who you are.
and what you want to do
and who you want to become.
you start writing again and delving into worlds entirely your own and completely and utterly full of nonsense.
you remember what makes you feel alive;
what get's your heart beating and your mind running and makes the world saturated with bright colors.

you become inspired.

I had a moment tonight as I was trying to fall asleep.
My mind started running in a million different directions and all of a sudden I had to write it all down before I lost to the unconscious land of dreams and half formed thoughts.
I had to sift through photographs and snapshots from the last few months and look at them again. I pulled up old quotes hidden in the depths of my hard drive and open up old documents from years ago with a couple of sentences of tangled words typed hastily down. They screamed of potential and the empty promises I had made those thoughts; that I would complete them, expand them, discover their fullness. 

I found myself setting goals and finding motivation to get back into old pattens and habits that pushed me and challenged me and focused me.

and I realized...
I am still inspired.

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