I don't like promises. Even promises made with the best intentions tend to be broken.

aftershock

well. here comes the aftershock.

what am i supposed to say when I am all choked up and you're okay?

Today has been okay

new layout, new picture, new pages (see the top)
and back to There and Back Again
because I realized that swinging has always been enough.


I was going to blog about a few in depth things tonight, but I'm tired.
Today was a long day; but it was a good day.
I had breakfast with Jord and Juli; I spent a good hour pampering Cazz
(fluid checks, a wash, cleaning out the trunk and insides and wiping down every surface with turtle wax wipes)
I ended up in my favorite place after a rather spontaneous choice to drive to Jackson Hole and into Grand Teton National park,
I sang my heart out and my voice hoarse,
I went to Opera Scenes with Jillise to see Erin preform and it was AMAZING
a new friend made me genuinely laugh,
I watched a movie with my roommates that moved me
and now I'm going to snuggle with my best friend and watch Grey's Anatomy and The Office, because that's just what we do.


yes. today has been okay. 

on the plus side though, minus this whole overwhelmed stuff built up behind walls, today was a good day.

temple hopping, in-n-out, rat-a-tat-cat, horsing around, rainstorm.

good memories. too bad i've been over thinking and that is causing dread and anxiety.

overwhelmed.

overwhelmed.

i really don't think that my mind can keep up with the rate of my thoughts.

they change every second and i'm getting dizzy.

rat-a-tat-cat. i switched a five for a seven. wrong way, chelsie.

hip. knee. cancer-free. surgery. will this ever end?

pain. throbbing. cancer-free. surgery.

best friend. married. lonely. boston. salt lake city. surgery.

money. worries. surgery. being needy. hurt.

surgery.

overwhelmed.

i took my five minutes and i was a victim.

and i've sucked it all in, built up my walls and i'm ready to move along.

or at least...everyone else will see that.

let it go

But i'm letting it go. Someone else loves you and needs you far more then I did. She's inspiring and beautiful and loved you first and deserves to be loved with your all. Who am I to stand in the way of that? And someone else will love and need me far more then you ever did. Someone will stand by me the whole time and not leave. I am deserving of that devotion. And I'm learning that every day.

thank you for teaching me those things and for the lessons I am still learning. I have come so far from the person I was a year ago. Because of the things that happened and the events that have taken place, I have had the opportunity to grown and learn. And I have some amazing people in my life right now who have taken that girl and her pieces and have helped stitch her back up and put her together and fix what you broke. And they have taught me how to fix myself too. All lessons and moments that I wouldn't trade for the world because I'm better for them.

March Madness

happy march!

goals for this month include the following:

1. budget money better

2. get my health back on track

3. pull up my grades

4. get myself back together and keep it together

5. improve

the month holds the following events:

1. Salt Lake City with Geoff 3rd-4th to see orthopedic surgeon to figure out hip issues

2. Wedding planning every other weekend with best friend

3. Acoustic Cafe

4. Kira's wedding reception

5. Whit-bit's birthday

6. MY birthday

three specific things I really want to work on this month:

1. Morning prayer

2. Sleeping more

3. Keeping in touch with my siblings on a general basis

Today has been okay. the real kind of okay. the okay that was filled with the spirit, with comforting faces, with heart-to-hearts, with time and conversation spent with a best friend, with reassuring hugs, with funny conversations, with good food and with scripture study and apartment bonding. promises were kept, plans were made and today has been okay.