leggings and flashbacks

I loved being able to walk into your apartment after a long day of work without knocking, and being greeted by whoever was sitting in the living room like it was no big deal. I would always just chuck my backpack on the couch or on the table and hang my peacoat on the back of the lone kitchen chair. Usually you would come out from the back by then because you heard me come in and as you kissed me hello, I would announce: "IT'S LEGGINGS TIME!" Those five minutes: the feeling of safety as soon as I saw you, the light, loving kiss hello, how warm you felt as I curled up into your right side, and the way you put your arm around me and held me close while we talked about our day and planned for our night; those first five minutes were so regular to us. They happened every day for four months, and they felt so natural, like we had been doing it for years and would continue to follow our routine for years so come. 


I've made it through six months without those five minutes. I'm doing really well, despite our crazy circumstances. I've really learned to trust God and I've seen so many blessings through my obedience and dedication to the rules we were given. And, I'm planning some big things for myself, like school and China and writing. I'm happy here; I'm happy here at home and I'm learning a lot. But I put my leggings on tonight and I so badly wanted to be curled up into your right side with your arm around my shoulders and my head in the crook of your neck and for five minutes, just for five minutes, to talk about our day.


I am so proud of you. And as much as I miss you, I know how happy you are and that makes everything worth it to me.