content.

It's 8:47 in the morning and I want to be super grumpy at the fact that there is a saw outside my window and that the garbage truck was an hour earlier then usual in collecting the garbage, which means I woke up earlier then my alarm. I want to roll over and sleep through the constant throbbing in my hip and in my head. I don't want to think about all of the stuff I have to get done today. Things keep piling up and I feel heavy. Not "I've eaten too much" heavy or the "i'm tired" heavy. The kind of heavy where the very thought of moving physically hurts. It's been a while since I've felt like that, and I realize that I over did it this last weekend and it will take a while to recover. I want to be frustrated that my body is silly and that I can't go have fun without having to pay for it.

I want to be grumpy and angry and bitter and just groan and sleep forever. 

But there is a breeze coming through my window and it smells like the coming of fall. The crow across the parking lot would be obnoxious on any other day, but the fact that I can hear it means that my hearing isn't ruined like I thought it was from the concert. I can hear someone trying to start their car and it's not going well and I'm grateful for the Cazz machine and for the ability it gives me to take my roommates the long way home so that we can sing our favorite songs and feel infinite. Misao is still sound asleep in the bed next to me and her breath is even and calming and I'm relieved that her sleeping issues seemed to have resolved themselves. Plans are becoming solid for making some magic happen and I'm beyond excited and hopeful for seeing people I love being happy. I feel like I'm going to be productive today, as long as the migraine stays at bay, and if I go eat something and take a med, then I think I have a good chance of keeping it away. 

There is a word for this feeling. and I only feel it once in a while. completely and fully. moments when I realize that my life is so freaking beautiful that it almost hurts. Mere moments when I let out the sigh that means only one thing. 

I am content.