brief hiatus.

I haven't really written in a while.
and I'm going to work on that, once I kick this cold.

inspi(red)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them."

Betty Crocker Moment

I saw this recipe on pintrest the other day and had to try it. So today, in about 20 minutes, I had the most delicious monkey bread muffins on the face of the planet. If you try to make this on your own, I suggest you use a whole teaspoon of butter on the top to make sure the top gets carmalized. UGH! SO YUMMY! Kristin and I have already downed the first tray.

Today, in Brit Lit

cheesy australian accent: "'And now the Cheetah eats the young deer.' And you're sitting there, thinking about the camera men who are filming this and you just want to scream: 'INTERVENE!'...Jerks..."

just a little catch up

1. I'm so busy. It's midterms and I finally got my new planner in the mail and I spent a good chunk of time outlining the next few weeks. I feel focused and determined and motivated. I want to do well this semester.

2. I went to Utah this last weekend to see Julianna and Jordan. It was fantastic. Juli and I ate cookie dough and watched arrested development. We went to a farmers market and tried bread samples from a guy who used to live in Boston. I finally bought my first pair of TOMS. We did homework together in a book binding studio. We saw 50/50 because it was our story of friendship and cancer. We cried through most of it together, and patted each others arms when things happened that happened to us. We ate Thai food and went on a mad hunt to find vampire teeth. We carved pumpkins with Jordan and hung out with Ian and talked about how excited we were for Brett to come home in two weeks. It was fantastic.

3. Once upon a time, I had these friends who used to sponsor dance parties every semester. Then they all kinda went their separate ways and didn't do anything for a while. Well, now they are gearing up to put on a huge Halloween party this coming weekend and they just bought a new fog machine for it. And, being boys, they came over to test it out in my apartment. Where the windows are sealed shut. And where the smoke detector goes off in the whole building....If you were by The Ivy at 11:00 on Thursday night and saw all 300 of it's Tenants standing outside of the building...yeah...that would be because of my friends. Thanks, boys.

4. I've gone almost five months without dying my hair. This is huge for me. And half of me wants to keep going, because it feels so healthy! But, the other half of me cringes at the roots that are coming in and at the big orange spots hiding behind my right ear from the blonde incident this summer. Every day, I lean towards dying it more and more. And I have this huge huge hugeeee craving to go red.

5. Sam and I have started this excellent tradition of watching The Sing Off together every Tuesday. We eat Pizza and Wheat Thins and Easy Cheese. It's yummy. I like her a lot; I'm really glad I've gotten to be such good friends with her this semester.

on pain

On a scale of 1-10, ten being the absolute worse agony ever experienced, I used to live at a constant seven. My knee was falling apart and I felt it everywhere. For the last five years, I learned how to live with that pain. I stopped talking about it. I stopped noticing it. When you live with that kind of pain 24/7, it becomes a part of you.

and then I had this miraculous surgery that fixed my knee. And after all the rough rehab; I'm pain free 95% of the time. It's been incredible and the quality of my life has improved so much that I can't even find words to describe the life that has been breathed into me.

But, that doesn't mean I'm normal again. I still have the smallest gait issues when walking and not thinking about my movements and my left hip has developed some severe arthritis from walking so poorly for so long. It's never been really unbearable-I lived at a constant seven, it was nothing new. But after working so hard to realign my body; it seems to have made things worse in the hip department. And the last few days have been back at that constant roar of seven, except it's in my hip. It's new territory. It's uncomfortable and it aches all of the time and sometimes I can't move because it is throbbing so badly.

But, such is life. I've got two legs. and at the end of the day, I'll take the pain, because it means I have two legs and I have a working knee and I'm alive. And that is more important then anything else.

Life last week.

1. Last weekend was my official 5 year remission anniversary. I hiked R Mountain with three of my favorite girls in celebration. It was really really really tough work and took a lot out of me and I thought about stopping and turning back multiple times. But then I reached the top. Tears just started streaming down my face; because I reached the top. I hiked a mountain and my knee didn't fail and I was alive.
I am a five year survivor. And my live is beautiful.

2. I already posted about shooting Elysha and Sebasthian last weekend; but what I didn't get to tell you was how they took me out for pizza after and came over Sunday so that Sebasthian could explain some of the photos Dustin sent to me a few weeks ago. That was really awesome. Have I expressed how grateful I am for them?

3. I have some pretty awesome friends who really love me. Like Ms. Symone; who left this really great surprise of all my favorite treats in my room on Tuesday to celebrate my five years of surviving.

A Message

Did my missionary send me a handful of red Maple leaves from New England so I could? Yep, he did.

A little piece of home from my best friend.

Happiness.

<3

Today in Postmodern Lit...

"The ultimate thing you can do with your agency is to love someone enough to belong to them."

-Eric d'Evengee