California.

We finally went to California.

words kind of fail me, so here are some pictures.

Me and Misao landing in Reno! 

only a few minutes away from seeing our friends

FRIENDS! On our way to Nevada City, California

New Friends from Nevada City!

Best:

Classic:

Bye Bye Mike. We love you.

California Sunshine. 

Mountains and Trees.

 Old friends. 

New friends. 

Family.

Love. 

By the way. Look how far we've come:

There isn't much I can say except:

Thank you for everything.

memories and best friends

So, I'm sitting in Science, bored out of my mind and wasting away. This class is so pointless. 

I'm trying hard not to freak out or get too excited about the fact that I am finally getting OUT of Idaho tonight/tomorrow morning. I'm going to be in some beautiful Californian sunshine, in the company of my two best friends from last semester. And I am so excited to meet some new friends whom I already adore. I've got packing lists running through my mind at lightening speed, along with everything else I need to get done today before I leave.

anyways.

To pass the time in science today, I ventured into my yahoo.com email account. Scary. I'm pretty sure I had 1,089 unread messages. Most of them being spam, but there are some from Aaron, which I want to read. Apparently Bishop has failed to switch my e-mail address on the forwarding list. I also re-read some e-mails from when I was in my second year of high school between some old friends of mine. The first thing that hit me was: "Wow, I've grown up so much." We all have. Life was filled with drama, a lot of it childish and unnecessary. It amazed me to read how unhappy I was at times, and how lost I was. Looking at where I stand now, I can honestly see how far I have really come. I know who I am now, and I know where I am going. I can honestly say that I am genuinely happy with my life. 

Anyways, as I was sifting through the massive amounts of junk, I came across a confirmation email to my live journal! I totally forgot about it! I logged in, and re-read a few of my entries and this is the one that brought the biggest smile to my face.

June 9th, 2006

So I got home from camping last night. It was amazing and way too much fun. We had the perfect weather, and that just made spending the weekend in the mountains even more beautiful. I LOVE NEW HAMPSHIRE! always, Brett and Juli make my life and this weekend did not go without our laughs.

Bullet form account of our trip:

-Brett breaking his sandals within the first 10 minutes of arrival

-Sister G (Brett's mom) Discussing the color coordination of m&ms

-Ian "roughing it" in shorts

-This tent. Is bananas.

-pussy cat, pussy cat WOOOWOWOWOWOOOO!

-"Yeah, they could have made money off of me too."

-"I'm trying to think of the creepiest thing thats happened to me while I was in my bed..." (Brett said this)

-Brett and his need to have even draw-strings

-"Want to now what's weird? My sister forgot to bring socks."

-45's for six hours straight.

-The latrines. no more needs to be said, right Juli?

-Throwing water at Dave while he was sleeping. HAHAHAHA

-Staying up until 1 AM around the campfire, listening to all of the adults snore

-this sucks. i mean. sox. (with an angry glare from my mother)

I remember this weekend so perfectly. It was our first annual family camp-out (My family, Brett's family, Juli's family and the Phillips). Sometimes I wish I could back to those memories for a few days. We were so carefree (well, as carefree as possible) in moments like those.

It is with a great peace as I read this entry from three years ago that I realized that Juli and Brett are always going to be around. We're always going to be friends and they will always be around for the rest of my life. It amazes me to remember where we all were three years ago, and to look at where we are now. Juli is in her second year of college and she is going to England in a few weeks for a study abroad. Brett is in Provo as well, finishing up his first year at college and getting ready to serve his mission. We've all grown up, we've all come so far and yet, we still spend weekends out here laughing at the ridiculous things that we used to laugh at three years ago. 

I'm so thankful for my friends and for the knowledge that they will always be around. It's so nice having that comfort. 

FACT: I have weird dreams.

So, it is a well-known fact about me, if you are lucky enough to have been friends with me long enough to talk to me in the morning, that I have weird dreams. and I mean weird.

just an example:

two nights ago, I had a dream that I was standing outside of a gate of this big house, watching a pregnant lady walk towards it. All of a sudden, there was this dark figure standing next to me. I turned to look at him and he was really scary. It was like he was an orc, a dementor, Lord Voldermort, and a mutant from Xmen all in one. It didn't really freak me out though, which is odd. Anyways, all of a sudden, the figure vanished and I could see the pregnant lady stop and all of a sudden there were scratches all over her stomach (like in the 6th sense) and there was blood everywhere. Things blacked out and then we were inside of the house and she wasn't pregnant anymore. then, all of a sudden, I was in the upstairs of my grandparents old house. (one of my favorite houses ever). I was walking through a bathroom to get to a bedroom when my sister called and asked me if I could take her to the library. I was then in my car, which was sometime my hyudai or it was sometimes my old car, the oldsmobile. I was in the driveway waiting for her, when a lady pulled in behind me (a different one) and got out of the car. She told me that her GPS said that she could get a glass of water at my house. I went inside my house and got her a glass of water. She had a little girl with her, who I recognized to be a little girl named Amelia that I used to nanny for, three summers ago. Amelia was holding my hand, but somehow managed to pull my tanzanite ring off of my finger and throw it into the yard. 

and that was it.

weird huh? no other words for it, but weird.

last night/this morning, I had even more weird dreams. The kind of dreams that are not only weird, but they pull on your heartstrings because they put you in situations that you want, or with people that you miss.

I had a dream that my parents flew me home for a weekend. It was so nice to be back in my house, with my family. I wanted to stay for good, but I realized I needed to go back to finals week. I was then back in my apartment, and I was getting ansty because I hadn't heard from my boyfriend all day. Symone took my cellphone and called him, and someone picked up. She talked for a few minutes and then hung up. I was really mad because I wanted to talk to him. So I called him and MIKE picked up. I was really confused because Mike was in california and Brian was in florida. I asked Mike if he was with Brian and if I could talk to him. Mike told me to wait for a minute and then there was a knock on my door. I went to answer it and Mike and Brian were standing outside of our door! They had come to visit and help us pack up our apartment for the end of the semester. I remember launching myself into Mike and giving him a huge hug, and then turning to give Brian a huge hug as well. We then started to talk and laugh, and then, my grandmother, Bon-Bon, waltzes through the door to announce that she has started to cook a turkey two doors down and dinner will be ready in a few hours.

Now, my grandmother passed away a couple years ago. 

She looked great, and talked exactly how I remembered her too. 

There were a couple other things that happened that are now fading away and I can't get them back.

I just know that I really miss Brian and Mike; but that will be fixed in three days when I am in California with them. 

I really miss my grandmother. 

I woke up and my first thought was to call her and talk to her, and then I realized I couldn't do that. I haven't had that happen to me in a very long time.

My heartstrings definitely hurt.

Anyways.

I need to shower. 

A lot to get done today.

dear stress, love Chelsie

Dear Stress,

I am not a fan of you. I think you have stayed long enough. 

For your information, I spent five hours solid in the Library on Saturday, and then another two and a half locked in my room saturday night doing all of that work that I need to do. I also locked myself in my room for five hours yesterday, doing work that I needed to do. Oh, and I did a TON of work today. I feel like I am starting to tread water, instead of drowning. I have post it notes for every day this week, everything is outlined and everything WILL get done.

I think I have a job this summer, possibly two, if Middleton decides to take me back. so there. 

So, in conclusion. You can go away. I've got it covered. And when I don't have it covered, I know I have friends, family and a boyfriend who have my back.

I'm going to california in three days. I'm going to be with the people who I love most. I'm going to be stress free and carefree. So there.

Love,

Chelsie

PB&J

"We're so happy on our little piece of bread"

Dear Chelsie, Love Stress

Dear Chelsie,

My name is STRESS. I've been hanging around you lately and I really like it. I think I'm going to stay longer. I have a lot of things I want to do with you.

I want you to have to write three papers for B.O.M this weekend, along with keeping up with you daily journal entires (I know you are a week behind in it already). 

Let's give you a science test this weekend that you need to study really hard for.

And how about you watch three hours of media to report about for Middle East. Oh and a giant project that you need to devote a lot of time with your group too.

Let's give you another humanities CR to write, a group project due next week, three culture event write ups, and oh yeah, 500 pages to read of The Odyssey. 

oh, and what fun! Why don't you try to devote a lot of your time to a million chapters of reading for history.

Make sure you remember that you need to make sure your absences get excused from your fall last month. Thank goodness your doctors note came in. 

Even though you know you are on top of your grades, you still needs to worry about getting off of academic probation this semester. You don't want to be suspended.

Is that not enough? Do you think you can handle all of your school work? Good, because on top of that, you need to worry about getting a job when you gets home. You need to worry about finding a place to live next fall. Oh, you need to figure out storage for the summer. (thanks Jordan, for giving me some hope in this situation). And you need to finalize plans for april. Your flight is booked home from Sacramento. At least this much is finalized. 

You need to worry about your parents and their jobs. You need to worry about your car not running when you gets home. You also needs to worry about saying goodbye to one of your closest friends. OH! You also need to prepare to say goodbye to your boyfriend too.

Make sure you keep up-to-date on your dear friends, Mary and Tyler. You know that they are really sick, and that things are not looking good.

I am sure I have other plans for you, but I think I am going to keep them on the DL so I can surprise you!

I hope you are excited for all of these things because I sure am!

Always your friend,

STRESS!

p.s. I forgot. Make sure you are aware of your body. You don't want to miss any signs of your other friend: CANCER coming back to visit.

stress.

My shoulders are so tense these days. 

I thought it was because I have been sleeping so funny and that it would go away after a while, but truth it, they are just as tense, if not tenser, then they were a few weeks ago. And it's not just my shoulders. I feel like every thing is tense. I try to stretch it all out, but the second I sit down and look at my computer, all of my muscles squeeze back in and tense up. I went swimming for the first time in three months on Saturday and for the first time in a long while, I finally felt stretched out. Of course, when I woke up the next morning, I was all tense again. 

My daddy called me today and as I talked with him, I realized that this tenseness is stress. Stress that I didn't even realize I had, or that I was dealing with, but stress that is very much there.

Where do I start?

This week is a good place. I have so much work to do. I don't know where it all came from, but I feel like I am drowning in the massive amounts of work I need to do. There just isn't enough time in the day. Every time I cross something off of my list, three or four things come up that need to be put on the bottom. It's a never ending list. I have so much reading, writing, studying, outlining. I feel the pressure of the end of the semester coming along, and I still have five weeks left! 

On top of that, my doctor hasn't sent me a letter to excuse my absences from when I fell at the beginning of February. I've called three times and left messages. I need that note! In order to go to California in two weekends and to miss class and not have it count against me, I need to get my previous absences excused.

I am so tired, all of the time. I've been fighting this cold/cough thing for a month now. It's dragging me down. Sometimes there is no way for me to make it through the day without a decent two hour nap in the middle. But lately, I just haven't had time. I've been sleeping deeper lately, more then likely because I feel safe and secure, thanks to someone who is always close by. It's been helping, but doesn't stop the fact that I am nodding off as I type this.

My dad and I planned my flight home today at the end of the semester. He then started going off on how it will be nearly impossible for me to find a job when I do get home. My receptionist job at Middleton is not going to be there for me anymore. The company already had it's first round of layoffs a few weeks ago. I was relying heavily on that job to be there for me. If I am going to come back to school in the fall, I need to have money. And if I want to have my car out here, I really need to have money. My parents can not cover my butt for much longer, no matter how much they want to. 

My room is a mess again. So messy, that my clean laundry is sitting in our living room because I don't really have room to put my laundry basket in my room. That stresses me out. I need to clean it.

I am so tired. I really want to nap, but I have so much to do today that I really do not think it's going to happen.

No matter what or where I am by the end of next week, I am so excited to be going to California. I need to get out of here, out of Idaho, and in the company of some of my favorite people. I have made a promise to myself that no matter what is stressing me out next week, that I am going to leave it all behind in Rexburg and completely and fully enjoy my weekend with my best friends. I need a break.

Anyways, I need to get going. Clean my room, do my B.O.M homework. maybe if I get all of this done before class at 3:15, I will let myself take a small power nap when I get home. maybe.

super cute.

updates

Post-it note usage update:

Success.

My daily to-do list:

My Important dates list:

Line of quotes/important things on my bed:

My collection of sticky-note pads:

(With corresponding color expo markers)

Count-down update:

17 days until Misao and I are in California with Mike, Brian and Zandra

22 days until my 19th birthday

36 days until the end of the semester

44 days until California with Vicki and Trish

50 days until I am home!

This week looks like:

Tomorrow: Post-office, Science and studying

Wednesday: Class, class, class, studying and dinner with Jordan and Kyle

Thursday: sleeping, class, middle east test, dinner at Birchwood

Friday: unknown besides class.

People who I've recently talked with from back home:

NICK!

ALLIE!

AMY!

JULI!

BRETT!

GAGE!

JESS!

(i'm doing well!)

Books I have finished/am reading:

Perks of being a Wallflower-finished

East of Eden-re-reading

Les Miserable-reading

The Similarion-reading

um. that is it.

Rambelings

Sometimes, listing is the only way I can organize my thoughts. I've only recently discovered how much I like it, and I've been listing a lot more.

I need to put my pizza in the oven. I am going to finish watching the first disk of LOTR while my pizza is cooking and being eaten. I need a nap.

I'm going to finish my Middle East homework and outline what I need to study for the test coming up this week. I'm going to do some online class work. I'm going to edit my humanities paper and print it out.

I miss Misao.

I'm so proud that I have already cleaned my side of the room. 

That being said, I have accumulated a large pile of laundry that needs to get done.

I should do a load of dishes tonight. 

I need to go to the post office on Tuesday. or by Tuesday. one of those.

There are only 18 days until California. 

I really need a nap. I need to paint my nails. They are looking kind of gross right now.

I want yellow post-it notes. I have every other color imaginable but yellow. It bothers me for reasons unknown to myself.

I really want to be home in front of my fireplace, drinking hot chocolate and reading East of Eden while it snows outside. 

I had the weirdest dreams last night that involved my grandfathers truck, Cottonwood, my cousin, my old marching band, weebles wobbles, and pokemon suits. 

My birthday is in 25 days.